Recently a dear friend (who is also a
feminism pro) had posted an analysis done by OECD (Organization of Economic
Co-operation & Development) about the average time spend by men towards
unpaid housework. Incidentally, India ranks at 132 out of 148 countries listed
in the same, with an average 19 minutes spend by Indian Men on household
chores. It has been an interesting discussion overall and hence it compelled me
to put down a few reflections made through the intriguing discourse.
Opinions expressed ranged from “genetic
insufficiencies” to the most pigeonholed responses like “men being the bread
winners and having no more time for ménage tasks”. What exactly is the analogy between women and
house work, which comes so naturally to each one of us? Being wives, mothers, sisters
we actually give up hope that the nuances to these petite, trivial but umpteen
and ubiquitous tasks will never be understood or acted on by the male
counterparts. And this leads to unacknowledged incumbrance of everything under
the roof, on women.
This varna system we’d imagine
would only be existent in India if it still survives. But the situation presents
itself in similar fashion across the world; it’s just the old wine in a new, sophisticated
bottle. I have been indulging in the celebrated work by Betty Friedman, “The Feminine
Mystique”; where she talks about the problem which has no name. Women,
who lacked purpose of life, felt incomplete or factually invisible, inspite of
being fully fitted with the adorns of modern life. The problem here is the terrestrial
discontent faced by sub-urban housewives in scrubbing their floors, raising
three (or more) kids and occasionally nursing their unwell husbands.
Why is that, there is a TOR to match
along with the color of crib and walls when a girl is born? There are
classifications for the carrier options, academic courses, sport as well as
musical instruments that are “biologically suited” for girls. Women now are
financially independent, technologically advanced, racing for every phase of
life, but still the age of marriage is a non-negotiable clause for almost all
classes and castes. The “fair sex” is obliged to demonstrate the literal
meaning to the word. We are still
fighting female feticide, rape, low levels of women literacy rates, dowry
deaths, domestic violence, trafficking etc. and to top it being also damned as
a cause for most of them. There are questions, despite this being 39th
international women’s day; which yet are not answered, and there are questions
which are not raised yet.
Hope is not to be lost, because there
is a world which we should strive to bring into existence. A world where
perspectives are evenly respected, burden is shared, no-one is categorized as
superior gender; people are not identified by vagina or balls. There is a face
and a story to every being, which is appreciated across the society. Let’s make
a society free of discrimination and discernment; it is then we can actually
eradicate celebration of a day or two for women, because they will also hold a tantamount
ownership to rest of the days in the year.
“Who knows what women can be when they
are finally free to become themselves? Who knows what women’s intelligence will
contribute when it can be nourished without denying love? Who knows of the
possibilities of love when men & women share not only children , home, and
garden, not only the fulfillment of their biological roles, but the
possibilities and passions of the work that creates the human future and the
full human knowledge of who they are? It has barely begun the search of women
for themselves.”
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