It was dark, still and tranquilizing;
unlike what was going inside me. I could now hear the throbbing of my burning heart.
Covered in sweat and agonizing pain, it woke me again past mid night. The bouts
of hyperacidity and the acid re flux are now mundane for me.
There are episodes when the anguish is
at its peak. The last time I remember was when I had to complete the never
ending dissertation. And many similar episodes when proton pump inhibitors were
the only trustable beings. Okay I hear a few staying, “dude why don’t you just
eat on time and you know treat your habits instead of engulfing gallons of antacid”
(at-least that is what my mother says). The last doctor I visited, a gastroenterologist
(a big shot in medical fraternity) repeated the same medics without any
hesitation. It’s when I asked, what about a more permanent cure? Where he
explained me that how I belong to the clan of ‘Type A people’.
Type A personalities experience a
constant sense of urgency. Type A people seem to be in a constant struggle
against the clock. They are over competitive, show a high work involvement, and
they strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or
accomplishments. Hence, Type A individuals are easily ‘wounded up’ and tend to
overreact. Type A individuals tend to be easily aroused to anger or hostility,
which they may or may not express overtly. Coming clean, at times I have been
at all the places, they all seem me.
But it is not
all bad, it is painful, stressful; but we do good at times.
We all deal with frustration and
insecurity at times, a few choose to be depressed others choose to become Type
A’s. A type a personality is the personality type that results from the choice
a person makes to deal with these insecurities rather than ignoring them. The
Type A is an ordinary normal person operating at his maximum possible speed. S/He
wants to achieve a big goal but thinks that time is very limited.
Then we are called impatient,
because we believe time is running out and since our goals are too big we
always race with time. Type A’s hate uncertainties not because we can’t handle
them but because we don’t know how much time will it take us to go for an
unknown task.
So if this is
my new “normal”, then I have to re-discover myself a bit (living like this
could be self-exhausting)!!!
I choose to
live, laugh, travel. I don’t give up on tea (prime inducer to my niggling
situation), try to eat healthy. Thinking about problems, trying to solve them
is something ineluctable; but retrieving little joys, smiling a lot and
preserving the innocence.
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