Days
go by, nights cross silently, months turn into years and we grow up. Its
been a quarter of my life, experienced infancy, lived through the childhood,
got nurtured in school and college and acquitted a year of employment and
financial independence. But the question remains did I really grow up??
I still
remember the puerility, when with shrill and delirious tones of meaningless conversation
and gags to be endured; we were haled to abstain it. And now finally when all
of us has those masks to go with which shed only the meaningful smiles and the
small talks, the sorrow remains that you grew up too fast, the child in you has
lost its way out…
The only thing
which wasn’t tolerated then and now are the questions asked. When I look back
at my 25 glorious years of life and the status of questions called for; I feel
myself drowning in the ocean of unanswered questions. Neither did I get the
answer to why can’t I go out at night nor why my priorities to be decided in
same way you did??
It is not an easy time to live
with morals of 60s and still competing with a life style for decades later. There
are revolting contrasts, one is not able to deal with oneself, let alone the
tempt of surroundings. What adds to the misery is being a girl, where you are
expected to fuse in your talents with courage and timidity. It’s a triad of
host , environment and agents. Host being self and anything and everything
becomes the part either environment or agent. Complication is how can one
differentiate.
Living a life of hypocrisy is
baffling; advocating something, believing in something else and ultimately doing
something different altogether. How does one get rid of this dual phased life? Ostentatiousness
is that you compromise and sacrifice the peaceful unpretentious spirit. And are
you actually happy once we are done doing that??
“Growing up
happens when you start having things you look back on and wish you could
change". In this world of illusions
we only live by absence and presence of regrets.
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