Lately I have been thinking a lot about faith and beliefs. What is that defines and designs our belief system. It is what we see and learn as we grow but does our analytical mind ever challenges what we are preached all throughout the life time.
These thoughts gained momentum in my mind after the recent visit to Puri with my mother. It was her conviction that inspired; we followed it and went to Puri and Konark during the floods. Either, we were too lucky or maybe it was a conspiracy; sun shone brightly the two days and we returned back tanned.
According to some, this was the best time to visit Puri; as it was the end of Ganesh Puja and still 10 days were left for Durga puja. The city was quiet as it was the most unlikely time for tourists.
It was my second time, but it was very shocking as my inner conscious was skeptical about the power of the deity. All I could witness was the money clatter and howling of pandas and purohits. It was the amount of money that one dispenses as chadhava was the indicator used to define ones love, respect and faith in god. This all was pocketed by the mandir administration. Complaints and regret booths were made to fulfill the formalities and now they accomplish the purpose of official pay booths and card playing counters for pandas.
“Sarkar inse(mandir administration) darti hai didi, kuch bhi bola tuo mandir band kar denge, revenue kahan se aayega”. Our auto driver explained this in a very simple sentence. He summarized the conquest between poor government and almighty mandir administration.
My very religious and god forbidding mother also after a certain point of time started losing patience. When she just pronounced the chadahva a kind of bribery taken in the mandir as corruption and failing the efforts made by Anna Hazare by fasting so hard. Unfortunately, this was said in front of a panda, who definitely did not take it well, “He will die of his sins and rot in hell.”
Day to day life teaches us a lot of things, there is this learning which comes automatically to most of us, which is the learning to earn and feed their families. We all do it in different ways, ways which come to us more appropriately. Some study to get their selves placed in big organizations, some work on field and others become pandas in the reputed temples. I don’t say this, this is a well-accepted process, “Hum yahan hain, aap wahan hain; kunki bhagwan chahte hain aap kaam Karen aur aa kar humen humari fees dein. Humein kaam karne ki jarurat kya hai.”
The two days spend in the most religious place of the state, where people go to wash off their sins. I couldn’t help but wonder what god would be thinking about my thoughts and opinions. Were my sins forgiven and I was lightened or did I collected stronger views in controvert direction. Did this make me belief there was no sign of a celestial being and all around the show put up was only by the pandas, who make a living out of people’s trust. Then again I am forced to ponder that is it not our fault too. We are the people who are born to ignore logic and believe in magic. Anything which amuses is not just a fancy of a child, we believe in it when we are kids and grow up believing that there is someone else who understands us better than us and hence whatever good or bad that happens to us is justified. We seek a more convenient option of puja then working hard towards it. My words make me sound like atheist but it’s not so conveniently answered as being a human I too believe in the almighty god, but certainly my aim is to take a stand. My mind would still search for answers and options so as to come down to a standpoint to move forward from being blind in faith to enlightened in faith.
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