Working in a ‘Sarkari’ Office

It is nothing like what was expected of, and still very much like I thought it would be. It’s a building made in 50’s which is much in a dilapidated state and painted and repainted on every government festival. On the extreme backward corner is the office to which I belong, the District Social Welfare Office. The development sector for the district is run and controlled from this place.

The essence of this office as observed in the first week when there was no travel is tried to be captured in words but you are always short of words when it comes to such a place.

It is nothing different from how government offices are described; it is just that now I hold an insider’s perspective. Now, I say so because there is a difference in how I see the work being carried out in here in the 6 hours of day. The planning, implementation, monitoring, evaluation, bitching, sneezing, crabbing, howling, squawking and gnarling are very much a part of daily routine.

It’s a home to them and I am a stranger to the place, where every eye seems to stare and glare. I look out of place, but then I wonder, am I an insider now? It’s a struggle to make yourself recognized and approved by the people already baffled in here to their places; comfortable but not convinced. Still it’s a domain to them which they seem to hold expertise in.

It was told to me that I am lucky to have a place to sit of my own on the first day itself, in this hobo camp; and rest, things would start eventually. The people who work will agree to work with you and those who don’t will find excuses to make you not work. Its then when you can say you have started working.

Working with the Government sector is like learning to dance where there can be hand holding, but if they hold it for long, you can’t dance and miss the beats. Well, I can say I was lucky to have no handholding as I started moving to the self generated beats. At times, I am fast, at times I move differently, but at last I catch it; though a little off track but I keep wriggling myself to time.

There is more to come and I am yet to see things, some would be despicable and some delicious. The journey has began with baby steps, we fall we learn, we walk and run and find ways to work and achieve things. And above all we grow to be a part of the place. To find a place in them, with them, we become a component of them. What is important to retain and restore the ‘I’ in ‘us’. The individuality and the identity I wear. That is what would foreclose me from being a herd, part of the crowd. That is what would help me stand out, believe in what I think is right and do it the way it has to be. Bring the difference which hasn’t been brought in as yet. Hey, and that is why am here, isn’t it?